day of flight... grandcher ver.04

//Saturday, September 27, 2003//

Another guild meeting today. Sol-san is soo nice he treated us out in Pancake House... I thought he was joking too @_@

Then after that, I went home, and slept. I've been sleeping too much lately. Probably catching up on all the sleep I missed and and because I like torturing myself with "what-if-moments". I've been trying to pull a concept of an ad out of my mind but I can't seem to think of anything creative. I must do my homework today. It's finals week next week and the week after that. I really have to do good >.< I don't like getting average grades ever since I got into college.

On other things. They suck... but I'm managing. I think.

~Ruzenka took flight on 22:43

I went to Roxas Blvd. to take night shots yesterday with my classmates. Then we headed to Star City and rode that loop coaster, the wet coaster, that spinning thingy wheel that's kinda too windy (IMO), bump cars, and uh, a stupid horror house. T'was fun... I hope we could go to Enchanted Kingdom instead, next time.

My classmates can be pretty irritating most of the time. But they're very fun to be with... they're very amiable and open to a lot of things. They're very enthusiastic about school work. And that's why I enjoy their company most of the time. But still a lot of times - they are irritating. ^_^

Hrmm... oh I saw my aunt today. She seemed nice today. But still what she did to my stepbrothers is unforgivable. Unless she asks.............

~Ruzenka took flight on 02:51

//Friday, September 26, 2003//

What a sad sad world... -_-

I dunno what I'm still doing online. I should go to sleep. Sigh...

~Ruzenka took flight on 01:53

//Thursday, September 25, 2003//

o.O Wow, someone actually visited and read my crap o.o

Pow~ *nyuu~ huggu XD*

Hmm... last night I had another of those pathetic internalization (a.k.a "what-if-this-sad-thing-happens") whatnot. First it was about... uh now what was it about. Well never mind that, what I remember the most was how angry I was at my aunt (nanay nung kambal) last Sunday. It was the first time she met my stepbrothers and well... when my two lil brothers were already inside the van we were going to ride, she said something like... "may yaya ba yang mga yan? ano ba yan? makikiyaya pa sa yaya ng anak ko, pag hindi mo binaba yan magta-taxi ako". And she started shouting at me "ba't mo pinipilit isama yang dalawang yan wala naman yaya!". Like my two lil brothers would actually need a babysitter, when compared to my brat of a cousin... my brothers are very much well behaved and I bet knows more than my cousin. And what? Is she mad because my brothers might steal the attention from my lola? Like hell do we care if my lola spoils them like how they all did with my cousin. Me and my siblings aren't expecting anything from them fuckers. We can survive on our gawddarned own, unlike them - whom every bit of food they eat is all too much and came from my lola. Just whatever they want they get from my lola. While us, we have to stick to our allowances in buying what we want (yeah yeah I know my allowance is big already but compared to them!!! it's small o.o). Ugh... it's not a surprise they're all fussy about little things. Heh, I heard my aunt and my cousins are having big problems about where the twins' money goes to...

Geh, no wonder either they're all spoiled brats. There are only a few people I trust in my family. Hard to say really... but I hope my aunt apologizes for what she did to my brothers. The two little kids don't know anything! Just leave them be, because they're not going to steal the attention from her spoiled son. Let alone hog money like how they do.

~Ruzenka took flight on 22:20

For some reason I dunno why I even bother making this public. When nobody even reads it and neither do I want anyone to read it. And I sorta regret putting giddy things here. Because it's not how I planned it to be. Anyhow...

Today was the most irritating school day of my life. Nobody just seemed to care. Or maybe I was just feeling too angsty or whatever. Fuck it. Ugh, I hate myself for feeling so pathetic. And I hate myself more for not being able to do anything... >.<

YOu know how it sucks when you worry too much about other people when you know you can't do anything about it anyways. And then when you try to stop thinking about it the load gets heavier and heavier. It sinks deeper you don't exactly know why... And then when you think about it because you want it to end - there's that sudden lunging feeling in the chest and it starts to hurt. Sigh.. I dunno why I get so sensitive with whatever others are doing. Even though I know I'd feel bad knowing that something has happened, I can't seem to stop asking for whatever it was.

If only I didn't have too much pride I'd stab myself on the chest right now.

~Ruzenka took flight on 03:36

	free hosting image hosting hosting reseller online album e-shop famous people